I would think that you, who spend so much time pointing out the flaws and problematic areas in other people’s work, would be able to take one silly comic directed at your work and other likes it.
Normally I wouldn’t respond to this kind of thing publicly, but I’ll make an exception since you called me a shit.
OH WOW. And people haven’t believed me when I say he’s a dick.
In which Aaron Diaz teaches us how NOT to react when someone pokes fun at you while also making a valid point of criticism about yours and other people’s work.
This is one of the worst possible reactions to a woman who is pointing out a real issue that happens ALL the time with strong female characters that are designated as such just to justify crappy problems, if you feel personally attacked by it then clearly you see these issues glaringly in your own work and name calling comes off as really petty and unjustified (the criticism is absolutely valid after all, and the problem is prevalent) also it’s a huge ego issue if you automatically assume this commentary about a MASSIVELY WIDESPREAD issue was directed exclusively at you, regardless of wether or not those issues have permeated your work in the past. Also that is agreat way to truncate true discussion. Entirely petty and uncool.
I think tumblr has left a lot of us emotionally stunted. This is a great community for empowerment, catharsis, or coping, but those things aren’t recovery in and of themselves. Comparatively, they’re easy when compared to the painful self-reflection and real-world scenarios you’ll have to encounter on the road to true recovery. Not only does Tumblr not focus enough on recovery, but there’s almost a disdain here for the very notion.
There’s a lot of time spent validating everything. “Your symptoms are valid! Your responses are valid! Your depression is valid! Your coping is valid!” Well, yeah, all that stuff is definitely valid, and understanding that is important step in recovery, but it’s certainly not the final step. All that stuff is valid in the same way a baby chewing on a teething ring is valid, and there’s nothing to be embarrassed about if your recovery is still in its infancy, but Tumblr almost encourages you to stay there, to never grow out of it.
There’s a difference between what’s valid and what’s healthy, what’s best for you. I recently saw a post that validated people who stay in their room all day. Is that a valid response to anxiety? Sure. Is it a healthy response? Hell no, and there isn’t a person on Earth who can convincingly make the argument that the best thing you can do for your anxiety is to never leave your room.
Or how about those “how to care for a _________” posts? They’ve got some great tips there, and a lot of what they say is true, but you cannot reasonably expect people to coddle your issues, insecurities, or self-perceived inadequacies. Your recovery has to come from you. It has to be a difficult decision you make with yourself and carry through with because you need it. Your recovery can’t come from hoping other people will validate you.
No one should be ashamed of where they are in their recovery process, but there’s also no reason why you should be in the same place with your issues as you were in 2010.
Your final goal is not validation. It isn’t empowerment. It isn’t finding a way to get through the day. It isn’t being comfortable with your problems, nor is it accepting that they’ll never go away. The final goal is health. The final goal is happiness. The final goal is contentment. The final goal is recovery.
I just discovered the term “spectrumslide” as an alternative to the term “genderbend” and I REALLY think people should start using it and loving it as much as I do. It takes into account both the gender and sex spectrums, so not only is it not transphobic, it also is a lot more interesting and fun to experiment with.
Yes yes! kismesister made an awesome comic that got featured on Oh Joy, Sex Toy that is wonderful and where I believe the term came from (at least, Mu is totally the person who I heard it from first).
my typical level of involvement in any fandom
#im a strong believer in finding a few people who also Like A Thing and that being your fandom#i just throw art on the internet and then walk away#everytime i try just really actively participating i remember how impatient i am with people who suck
Mu’s tags are highly applicable to me. Or at least, what I try to do, and then fail miserably at.